Friday, 6 November 2015

Return to the Mud Continued

This is perhaps the first class I got through without having anything tangible to show. Since we are focusing on painting a series, I spent the time rummaging through my neglected materials and trying to decide what on earth I should do. Conflicted as I was between the controlled and meticulous drawing I love and the spontaneous process driven work I also enjoy, I could not find a direction. In a sense working within limitations can be easier and so after some ruminating and discussion with my teacher I think I have come up with a plan that will give me freedom to play with a constraint that may give my work cohesiveness. That class time really did see me wade in the mud and I have to remind myself that is how process has to be sometimes.

In twelve months little has really changed in the building where I do my evening classes. The room itself looked pretty much the same, even down to the random objects used as subjects for painting and drawing that punctuated the space. The whole experience felt like time travel, even other students who I know I never met before passed me in the hallway and I expected them to acknowledge me. It wasn't easy to come; in the morning I had kissed my daughter goodbye as I always do and had to stop myself from saying 'see you tonight' since I knew she would be fast asleep once I got home. As we stood as a group in class and discussed our ideas for our series I put my hand in my jeans pocket and found the hospital bracelet that was given to my daughter when she was born. I must have been wearing the same jeans when I left the hospital with her and not worn them since. It seemed very large, remembering how tiny she was when she was born. It is still a little odd to see her full name written out. I took it as a blessing and I think I may take it with me again as a talisman.